Sunday, December 2, 2012

Haiku Monday: Pretend (AKA 50 Shades of Csar)

HAIKU MONDAY: December 3, 2012        


Haiku Monday Posse, things are going to be a little different this week.


We now pause for my tardy haiku on the Csar's theme SOUTHEAST:

The road to Gaffney.
Stuckey's pecan treasures shrink
before the Big Peach.


Because I missed the deadline for submitting that entry to Csar, I have offered him the final judging role on this week's theme: PRETEND.     

I will be pre-judging.  Although the Csar agreed to participate, the guy put forth more conditions than Barb Streisand contracting for Donna Karan's Hamptons' holiday party: you must do this; I insist on that; I am veto-ing that theme; this is your sub-deadline, then this is your pre-draft-deadline, and your final deadline is that.  Oh, and make sure that you do this particular thing without fail.

 O. M. G.

But take a step back and realize that you are working with a genius, and a giant.  You realize that taking hard licks from the Csar will help you create the kind of Haiku Monday that ranks right on up there with one of the masterworks of all time, YENTL.


  • Leave your entries in my comments

  • 5 syllable, 7 syllable, 5 syllable format.
  • Kigo (seasonal reference) and Kireji (cutting word) are considered though not deal-breakers
  • Visuals will be taken into consideration
  • Submit up to two for judging, and others if you like for pleasure, but label them accordingly.

DEADLINE:  Midnight tonight (Monday), Pacific Time

Good luck to all!  


  1. this will be cutting it close but will see what ic an do be back later

  2. That Peach in Gaffney is obscene.
    You do not want to know what Blowfish has to say about it.

    Gaffney's peach? Pretend
    marketing on eighty five.
    Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! More!

    1. Fabulous, Fishy! That peach is taking on a life of its own. (Have you ever considered writing erotica??)

    2. And I know we're not judging this, but I think it's really good, lol!

  3. not for judging, obviously:

    Warren G. Harding
    Didn't pretend. Said it plain:
    It's "my god-damn friends."

    1. W o n d e r f u l, Csar! You're hot even when you are not officially participating. It's nice to see that you can transfer your current bossy moodiness to a sophisticated art form; most people just resort to graffiti.

  4. emerald colored eyes
    cold, icy stare of contempt
    shattered heart hidden

    polite smile, new wife
    "yes dear", words drip sweet honey
    burnt dinner again

    1. Well, Miss Becca: that didn't take you long! Beautiful and on the subject of the heart which is my favorite.

  5. Hi fleur and Czar. Interesting subject. Here are a couple of childhood make believes. If I have time maybe something else later. Not sure on deadline.

    Lilac stick and string,
    Clamshell-tipped boxelder twig.
    Small seagull hunter.

    Old logs become raft.
    Explorer’s maiden voyage.
    Ants seek higher ground!


    1. Gorgeous, Miss Dip!

      And thanks for the deadline prompt: it is midnight PST, apprx. 16 hours from now.

    2. I did put up a visual on my blog.


  6. All righty, then! I'll be back.

  7. Fleur, so the Peachoid commentary was not an entry.
    No,my literary ambitions are not in that genre. I am one who both respects and fears a judiciously cast lightening bolt.

    My entries are posted, with visuals, at the Pond.

    Mighty prize of war?
    No! Agamemnon's deceit
    decimated Troy

    Hope. First weaponized
    by Virgil's equine pretense.
    Now? It's protocol.

    What did Helen think?
    Some great prize won by default?
    Whoa! to foolish trust!

    Art, spawn'd by Troy's myth,
    illustrates man's deception.
    Hope. It's a hard death.

    1. Spectacular visuals and admirable variety on this theme, Fishy!

    2. first and last for Czar's evaluations please

  8. Good evening Fleur,

    The first 3 are for the topic: pretend and the last one renaissance. Simply to define my original intention of the topic. However any gratuitous displays are not only welcome, but highly encouraged.

    Spring tryst; oh Oh OH!
    Oh Honey! You're the best!
    Work on shopping list.

    Buxomly beauty
    Fall Renaissance frolicking
    Steam release revives

    Five weeks in the field
    Admin backlog compounding
    Genie to clear desk

    Greed's destruction
    Resurrection long and hard
    History repeats

    1. I daresay your haiku fecundity was inspired by long musings on Renaissancian buxomliness. Number 1 is a LOL (from this perspective anyway!) Nice job, Karl.

  9. I'm up!

    Wee-billed grey-winged bard
    trills brethrens’ symphonies. Mock?
    No, that’s flattery.

    1. Excellent, Moi! "Mock" and "flatter" contrast is wonderful.

  10. Here are my two:


    At two, I knew he
    was not real but greed made me
    pretend to believe.


    No embellishment
    Just truth. Forty-two percent
    Dying of hunger.

    Will get them posted on my blog wtih visuals shortly.

    1. Wow...those are two very sobering entries, I. Rider!

  11. Summer afternoons
    like winter's all day light; chill
    kills the illusion.

    sunset urgency
    floor the damn pick up! Zombies
    emerge in fifteen!

  12. Chicky...very interesting first entry. Sometimes I pretend that it's a different day of the week and try to dissect why that day has a different feeling. Can't keep it up for long, of course.

  13. its weird but all day in winter is like late afternoon in summer and still the light isnt as saturated. that low southern sun makes long shadows and kills what light reaches the ground. at least down here at Chick-o-ville. On the mountain its brighter but its a blue light. I do pretend: "if it was summer, it would be 6:30 pm I say to high noon in winter!" but the winter nights are so dark and the stars so bright. summer night skies are like soft denim.

    as for the second haiku, I always think about "I am Legend" driving home in the last of light - I think, if I was in that movie, Id be cutting it very close. look - theres zombies at the forest edge just waiting for the sun to drop behind Sally Ann mountain.

  14. Love I Am Legend :o)

    I'm continually trying to ascertain if dawn's light feels/looks the same as dusk's. There is a difference. And winter light is definitely more mellow.

  15. Good evening Fleur,

    The study of heavenly orbs, has been a longtime passion, regardless the size.

    @ Chickory: As the Declination of the Sun retreats to the southward, the way the light reflects through the atmosphere changes. The subdued tones of light during the day and the harshness at sunrise and sundown can be caused by this. If it bothers you, fear not. The solstice will be here soon.