Who do I have to sign my 401K over in order to get an appointment at a TEMP agency!?
Oh, wait, I forgot...the 401K is gone. (Sorry, cubs, you're going to have to get w'me for my wit and wisdom as there's no Sugar left.)
14 years ago, I came to The City all Pollyanna 'n' shit--and it paid off. Got a seasonal job at Bloomingdales right off the bat, and then made many dollars an hour at very easy temp work: greeting people, answering the phone. Then, saw an ad in the NY Times (the paper version), interviewed and got the job. Ah...1998...cue, "can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line?"
No, it was simple then! Now, for temp work, you have to fill out your life/work story online and attach your resume. IF there's a job that EXACTLY matches your resume, you MIGHT be contacted.
What?? If there were jobs out there that exactly matched my resume, I wouldn't need a temp agency!
Anyway, finally got to meet with a lady at Addecco temp agency--but only because my landlord's assistant referred me.
Once I got to talk to someone and expand upon my resume, I felt some hope. I could see that the recruiter was excited too--she has a good candidate on her hands! I explained to her that I would be an excellent executive assistant to someone very old who wanted me to make his martinis and create all of his correspondence as well as answering his phone. (That got a good laugh! It's important to impress a recruiter with your charm and sense of humor.) While I was selling myself by explaining how conference management was essentially project management and that I was willing to take any work except coallating binders, she said, "you know, there's a long-term temp training job for Morgan Stanley that's been on my desk for a while. At first they wanted a professional trainer--but they didn't like any of them. Now, they just want the right chemistry, and not necessarily any experience."
I assured her that conference management was just like training in a variety of ways: explaining things to people, sharing processes and procedures, telling anecdotes, using diplomacy and tact on thick-headed people. She loved this! I said, "Jeneva, if they don't know what they want, then they don't realize that they want me."
She has sent my resume over with the request that they set up a phone interview.
Now, how could this have occurred through a keyword-match search in a database?
Morgan Stanley . . . Best of luck, Fleur. Get to know some of those pesky Jews who are helping me run the world and let them know I haven't received a check lately for my efforts.
ReplyDeleteI'll get right on that, Csar. Don't expect too much, though. My Weight Watchers leader is a Jew. How do I know this? I know this because he refers to boring vegetables as "farshtunkina carrots." Next to him, you are Troy Donahue in terms of Jewishness.
ReplyDeleteNext time he pisses you off, tell him he's a shanda fur de goyim, which means that as a Jew he's acting shamefully in front of Gentiles. Then you can tell him, Gai kakkan yam, which is one of my favorite Yiddish phrases: "Go shit in the ocean."
ReplyDeleteNo doubt these phrases will also serve you well on Wall Street.
Lol...ok, as a 1/2 Italian (from Nebraska), I don't have much room judging the quality of people's ethnicity. I respectfully withdraw my skepticism toward the depth of your Jewishness and promise to use both of those fantastic phrases at some point in my career--after the 90 day probation period, of course.
ReplyDeletePrairie Folk: 0, Chosen Peeps: 1
Well, when it comes right down to it, I'm Jewish only by virtue of 5000 years of family heritage. I'm just as proud of being elected an honorary Italian by my goombahs at my Brooklyn high school.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I figured!
ReplyDelete